Judgement and shame are high-priorities in my brain. I bring them both onto myself frequently. Not only do I believe that I’m usually part of the problem, but I also could really “do better” to fix them.
This isn’t healthy of course, but it is consistent. And it causes constant pain that shows out in different aspects of my life. Not always grandiose, but just small, heavy moments and pressure.
So I chose to kill my pain. We all do, everyday. We adopt actions or habits, maybe behaviors, that help us to kill our pain.
Mine pain just has been showing itself more lately. Screaming instead of the usual whisper. Jumping instead of the quiet stroll. Directly looking at me instead of the downward gaze.
It got louder and I had to kill it. And it affected everything. Thank God it did, I needed to change.
So this post is really about more judgement. I judge myself enough, more than anyone else could do to me.
So lets take a second to realize that when people mess up, or do something “bad”, they are really killing their pain.
That is when they need love. That is when they need encouragement. That is when they need a helping hand.
So instead of judging people for what they have done when they are in pain, lets listen to them speak on that pain. Lets hear them out and ask what they need or offer something if they don’t know.
Lets let love and connection be our tools to healing.