I know you are struggling. I know you are hurting. I know you are feeling pretty worthless and a lot of the time you are just trying to drag your ass through the next 5 minutes. No wonder you think about giving up. No wonder you question if this is all really worth it. No wonder you dread what’s coming next.
This all makes sense. So much of our existence is pain and struggle. Let me just say, I get it. I’ve been through it, I still go through it sometimes, and I know just how it feels. I’ve been the “sick girl” for almost a decade. I know what it was like to have dreams and goals that seemed so unbelievably far out of reach. Not just because of my physical challenges, but also my own thoughts.
Am I really qualified to talk about this? Why would people believe the sick girl? Who would want to invest in me? I am imperfect, flawed, a sinner, who wants to take time to hear what I have to say? Who would want me?
Honestly, I couldn’t really answer these questions. I just had this gut feeling, something way far back in my head saying, in the softest of voice “but I’m supposed to do this”. This timid voice was relentless and I felt it all the time when I thought of my work and what I wanted to do, I especially felt it when I came up with countless reasons as to why I couldn’t do those things.
I didn’t know why this voice though it had it right. I don’t know who encouraged that voice to speak up. All I know is that it was born inside of me when I was made. This voice is a part of my design. It’s a part of the make up of Cayci. (continued in comments)
This voice, is part of my soul. It will not go away. And I have a feeling you know exactly what I’m taking about. Maybe it’s a voice or a feeling, a pull in your gut, or a flutter in your chest saying, “hey, we are meant to do this”. And you believe it but you have a million reasons as to why it can’t work for you.
There are a lot of reasons why you can’t do it, and there are a lot of reasons why you can do it. This fire inside of you will never burn out, ever. No matter how hard you try to drown it out with doubt, it will always stay lit.
So I’m here to say, that voice IS you. That voice is RIGHT. You are designed to do that thing that is specific to you. No one else can do that like you can, that’s why it’s YOU who was created to do it! Even when you feel like crap, even when you struggle, even when you fail….you are still designed to do that thing.
So what do you do? Here is the challenge. Make yourself list the reasons why you CAN do the thing that voice is telling you about. How could you make it work? What crazy, wild ass reasons are there that could make this voice come into fruition? What would your life have to be like to actually live out what the voice is telling you to do? Be free, wild, unconventional, challenging, and true with it. Go outside the box to answer it. Challenge yourself to drop whatever beliefs you have about your life and make something totally new.
Give the voice some room to be creative and active, see what it shows you.